Sunday, June 25, 2006

The Trouble with David Cameron

There's nothing to cheer you up on a Sunday morning during the World Cup like waking up to find the Daily Mail wetting itself over someone saying naughty things on TV.
It'd be a travesty not to print the whole of 'ROSS'S SHOCKING OUTBURST' in his interview with Little Lord Cameron. You'd think he'd have got used to this sort of thing at Eton.

Jonathon Ross: You spoke to, is it Dame Thatcher now?
David Cameron: Lady Thatcher.
JR: Lady Thatcher, I do apologise. She's gone up a step, it's like being upgraded. What did she say to you?
DC: She said just get a good night's sleep and read all the newspapers and eat properly, good advice.
JR: Did she think you were her son or something?
DC: It's a bit like that.
JR: Make sure you're tucked in... Let me ask you a question which you may consider a little risqué. How old were you when Lady Thatcher, back then just plain Margaret Thatcher, was first elected?
DC: 12, 13, something like that.
JR: That is a time in a boy's life when you begin to look around for women who are attractive.
DC: This is when I realize why politicians never come on the show.
JR: I put it to you, sir, that as a young man, you may have rejected, but I think you probably considered, Margaret Thatcher in a carnal fashion. As indeed we all did.
DC: I wasn't really interested in politics when I was 13.
JR: We're not talking about that.
DC: I wasn't really following it all very closely.
JR: Did you think of her as a woman? Do you think she might be pin-up material?
DC: No.
JR: You didn't want to see her in stockings?
DC: No.
JR: What do you think were the best things that were achieved during that period?
DC: She sorted out the trade unions and inflation.
[Blah blah blah]
JR: But did you or did you not have a wank thinking 'Margaret Thatcher'?
DC: (Laughs nervously)
JR: See I'm like Paxman. See the way I do it?
DC: (Laughing nervously) He didn't quite go that far. Not that bad...
JR: No, that was a bit low. I apologise. I tried, but it was a challenge even for me.

Oh God, WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE HOUSE PRICES!?!!